Today’s post is from Marci at Overcoming Busy. She is sharing about the lessons our children learn from us and also the lessons we can learn from our children.
What the daughter does, the mother did. ~Jewish Proverb
Ouch! That’s a quote that will make you think long and hard about your actions – and then pray for mercy from above! Just last week, I heard my daughter use a tone with her brother that was more than sassy. It was attitude. Attitude laced with condemnation. I called her out and we had a little discussion about her tone. “Where did you learn to talk to others like that? You know better.”
Then, I thought “I recognize that tone.” My mind went back a few days prior. We were running late. My daughter had gone upstairs to brush her teeth. Fifteen minutes later, she sauntered down the stairs with teeth unbrushed and somehow she had lost her shoes. I’d like to make this a story of how gracefully I handled the situation and talked to her about focus and responsibility, but that would be a work of fiction. (And I don’t like fiction. Real life is drama enough. I don’t need made up stuff.) I let out a condemning tirade that made my daughter burst into tears and run into her room. That should have been enough to slap me to my senses, but oh no… I yelled up the stairs something about being late and how she wasn’t making things better. Oh yeah. That’s going to motivate her to get to the car. Ugh. I screwed up…big time.
How can I expect her to treat people with respect when she is frustrated, if I cannot? She is supposed to be learning from me. I home school her. I expose her to all kinds of situations and people to learn from. I try and keep her away from bad influences. It is up to me to keep up those high standards in my own life.
That little experience got me thinking about other areas of my life. Am I truly being a good example in my dealings with others, my conversations with my family, in my walk with the Lord, in my management of our household? The greatest lessons we can teach our children are not found in a textbook. They are the lessons we live out everyday. I want to teach my daughter good lessons. So that my daughter does what I did.
Are there areas of your life that you need to re-examine to make sure you are teaching the right lessons to your children?
7 Comments
Oh Marci … this is the same lesson I am learning in our home. It’s a hard one … and painful. Makes me so aware of my own need for grace.
Teri Lynne Underwood recently posted..The Feet
Wow! This one hit me right between the eyes!!! This is the question I will ponder for days to come.. “How can I expect her to treat people with respect when she is frustrated, if I cannot? ”
It seems like I most get frustrated as we’re heading out the door…. TO CHURCH! And I act most like a toddler!
Thanks Marci for this AWESOME message!
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Penny recently posted..One of those weeks
This goes through my mind every day because every single day I yell and condemn and I don’t change it. Every day I think about the impact of my “tone” with my daughter yet I don’t try and change it. Ugh. Our relationship is so challenging and she’s only 8.
Jennifer recently posted..A new year
Oh Marci! I have just been thinking this thought:
“They will become like their teacher.”
Yes, that is at times a little overwhelming! I am painfully aware of my faults and failures. God’s grace covers a multitude of sins, for that I am thankful. I am learning on those days when I really blow it, to ‘fess up’ and ask my girls for forgiveness. I’m hoping they remember that too!
Oh man. Just…wow. Yes.
Ouch! Yeah, that’s me too. Yelling and expecting my 8-year-old daughter and 5-year-old sons NOT to do like their Mom does but to do like their Mom says to do… And I KNOW that’s not the way it works. Thanks for the wake up call. I’m right there with Jennifer and I especially like what Stacey said about apologizing and asking for forgiveness. While, that’s a step in the right direction — explaining that stress often makes people do and say things they shouldn’t…. and I’m sorry! — it’s a nice gesture but it doesn’t heal the wound and the scars will remain forever. So how does one STOP? Prayer! Mindfulness! As Peach, the starfish, says in Nemo, “find a happy place. Find a happy place.”
Maggie Mae recently posted..Thinking Thankful – The Summer That Sorta Wasnt
I have this quote on my bathroom mirror:
The kids can only go as far as I take them…
If I don’t pray, they won’t.
If I don’t read my Bible, they won’t.
If I am not loving, patient, kind, gentle, thoughtful and selfless, they won’t be either.
I need to read over and over EVERYDAY!!! My kids are only 5, 3 and almost 2 and oh my, do they pick up on my tone and actions? I need His forgiveness and grace on a daily basis. Thanks for sharing from your heart Marci.
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