Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord. Lift your hands toward Him for the life of your young children. ~ Lamentations 2:19
A verse from Lamentations of all places radically transformed how I understand parenting. When Casiday was a baby, I found the book, “The Power of a Praying Parent” by Stormie Omartian. Having read her book, “The Power of a Praying Wife,” I knew I wanted her insights into praying for my child … and this verse is at the beginning of that book.
Ten years later, I have read the book and prayed the prayers for my daughter at least 15 times (my goal is twice a year). But even more than praying for her, I have learned a deeper truth about being a mom.
I must parent from the overflow!
ALL of our relationships with others are profoundly affected – positively or negatively – by our relationship with the Lord. Nowhere is this more evident than in our relationships at home.
We must be filled with the Lord so that it overflows … pours out of us and covers those around us. There is only one path to this end – giving our first attention, our priority attention, to our relationship with God.
Scripture exhorts us, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33, NASB) Whatever our desires and dreams, our plans and priorities, for our children might be, they must ALWAYS be secondary to our focus on seeking the Lord and His plan for our own lives.
Parenting from the overflow allows us to give grace to toddlers when we are exhausted from infant midnight feedings. Parenting from the overflow allows us to be patient with the, “What are we gonna do now?” question for the umpteenth time in the past hour. Parenting from the overflow allows us to remember how hard it was to be 10, torn between clinging to childhood and longing for adolescence. Parenting from the overflow allows us to be confident in speaking truth into stiff-necked teenagers.
Why? Because parenting from the overflow keeps a proper perspective. Parenting from the overflow reminds us of the great grace we have been given by our loving Father. Parenting from the overflow reminds us of the unending patience of God when we want our timeframe … now. Parenting from the overflow reminds us of our own struggle between flesh and spirit. Parenting from the overflow reminds us of our own stiff-necked rebellion and God’s faithful love poured into our lives.
Parenting from the overflow recognizes that time spent in the Word is necessity not luxury. But parenting from the overflow also realizes that time may sometimes be grabbed in minutes throughout the day rather than a long uninterrupted hour.
Parenting from the overflow recognizes the urgency of Paul’s admonition to “Pray without ceasing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17, NIV) But parenting from the overflow also realizes prayer is just as important in moments of chaos as it is during naptime.
Parenting from the overflow recognizes the children we’ve been given are pictures of ourselves. And parenting from the overflow also realizes that God teaches us His great love through them.
Parenting from the overflow isn’t easy. It requires sacrifice … but it’s worth it! When we begin by pouring out our hearts to the Lord – about our children, about ourselves, and most of all in order to seek Him first – we will find the wisdom and discernment we desire (and NEED) is far more quickly found. And the grace and tenderness we want to give to our children comes more naturally as a response to the grace and tenderness we have been given.
How do you parent from the overflow? What challenges do you face in this pursuit?
Each month, I’ll be sharing with you encouragement and challenges concerning parenting from the overflow. Over the coming months, we will look at this concept through the lens of the Fruit of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5:22-23. I hope you will be joining me each month!
22 Comments
I often think of my walk with the Lord in terms of a gas tank. So many times we try to parent with an empty tank. I am thinking this morning of John 15:5 “”I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” We can’t expect to be a successful parent, or anything else meaningful for that matter, without God – without a full, overflowing tank.
Absolutely true, Marci. I love that analogy.
Teri Lynne Underwood recently posted..Parenting from the Overflow
I am feeling like I am running on empty and I am not parenting in overflow. I really needed this post today. This verse speaks to my heart. Thank you for your encouragement Teri Lynne. I look forward to reading what you have to say next month.
Amy recently posted..In the Beginning
Amy, there are so many times when we get drained. Life’s circumstances and situations beyond our control lead to chaos … and exhaustion and emptiness. I’m praying for you, my friend, that in the midst of all you are doing that you will be able to carve out those moments you need to draw near to Him. ((hugs))
Teri Lynne Underwood recently posted..Parenting from the Overflow
Teri Lynne, you have such a beautiful heart. I pray every mother can take this verse to heart, because it can change her family as the overflow cascades over them as well.
Cherie recently posted..What My Husband Needs
Thank you, Cherie.
Teri Lynne Underwood recently posted..Parenting from the Overflow
Beautiful Teri Lynne! I’ve really been convicted lately about my lack of grace. But when I think about how much grace God gives me, I can better give grace from the overflow! Looking forward to more of your posts in this series!
Sandra recently posted..A Way to Help
As my friend Jay would say, “Tell me while I listen!” I’m so guilty of being stingy with the grace I have been so freely given. As I’ve been studying for these posts, I have been so convicted in many areas. But oh that sweet grace that God gives – and our children so freely give as well – that allows us to pick up the pieces and begin again.
Teri Lynne Underwood recently posted..Parenting from the Overflow
What an incredible post, Teri Lynne! And such a great reminder! I needed this today! I have been sick for the past few days and feel like I am not parenting well at all! Needed this encouragement!
So sorry you are sick, Mandy!! And I am thankful this was an encouragement to you! ((hugs))
Teri Lynne Underwood recently posted..Parenting from the Overflow
Thanks for this reminder. I needed it today due to the level of whining and sibling rivalry seeming to invade our four walls. I am learning that my kids truly reflect my own “state of being.” If I am filled with the Spirit, therefore responding in the Spirit, then most of our issues are diffused. BUT, when I simply live in a reactive state…hmmm…not good. Thanks again. (I love you, Lord! Fill me!)
lara recently posted..sowing seeds
It’s been a rough afternoon here … and most of the whining was mine!!
I think I need to go back and read my own post again. LOL
Teri Lynne Underwood recently posted..Parenting from the Overflow
Thanks Teri Lynne, I appreciate you sharing your wisdom… which is vast. We call it Grace Based Parenting, which is also a book, but I really like how you focused on our (the parents) walk with Christ. The beauty of the overflow is that it doesn’t start or stop with parenting. It ‘flows over’ into all the relationships in our lives. Thanks and much love.
So, so true! And I have that book on my “to read” list.
Teri Lynne Underwood recently posted..Parenting from the Overflow
Filled, poured out, covered….love these visually rich words Teri Lynne! I have been studying the Fruit of the Spirit this summer and have found a well so deep that I think I could stay there for at least another year! I can’t wait to hear what God puts on your heart to continue to challenge me in this area!
Stacey recently posted..Multitude Monday
I have spent a lot of time studying the fruit of the Spirit in the last few years, Stacey. I’ve taught through those concepts several times … but never as applied to parenting in particular. So, I am excited about what the Lord is going to show all of us!
Teri Lynne Underwood recently posted..Parenting from the Overflow
This post really moved me. I wonder most days how to find the patience to be a good mother especially now my girls are teenagers. I love the concept of the overflow. When I am tired I turn to my Lord my overflow. Thank you for your words for your heart.
Sara recently posted..I’m ready for friendship
I imagine the overflow becomes ever more significant as our children get older. I know the mental challenges even with a 10-year-old sometimes seem far more overwhelming than the physical challenges I faced when she was younger.
Teri Lynne Underwood recently posted..Parenting from the Overflow
Thank you Terri Lynne! Overflow is something I definitely have not had lately and I really, really need it. I feel the tension with our preschooler and her lack of listening to my husband. Through my overflow, I know this is when my husband and daughter do better. I feel pulled in so many directions lately, I’m really working on what directions GOD wants me to go – not everyone else, and possibly not even myself.
Looking forward to next month’s post….
Thank you so much for your kind remarks, Michelle. I can relate!! I’m looking forward to exploring this idea through the Word … and I believe this is something we can never embrace enough!!
Teri Lynne Underwood recently posted..Parenting from the Overflow
i’ll be reading this post over and over and over again! i have to say … i love the parenting aspect and i know this is a modsquad thing we’ve got going … but i believe the Lord was also whispering to me that i need to love from the overflow … with my husband. i tend to put all my patience, grace & overflow into the girls, that my husband rarely gets even a few drops from me!
thank you for these beautiful words, your beautiful heart and for blessing me today! can’t wait for next month’s post!!
Tracie recently posted..hello gorgeous girls-
Tracie, how wise you are! I have seen in my own life that I am generally willing to give – even when I am empty – to my daughter but for some reason (SELFISHNESS!) I am not as willing to do so with my husband. Keeping all our relationships in the proper Biblical order – God, Husband, children – is the only way to manage. The trick is, I suppose, learning how to do that – especially when our children need so much from us physically and mentally most of the time.
Teri Lynne Underwood recently posted..Parenting from the Overflow
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